As I mentioned in an earlier Childhood post, my family didn’t own a TV until I was around four years old. Some of the first movies I remember ever watching were Bambi, the Disney movie, of course; Stagecoach, the first movie John Wayne and John Ford worked together on; and Phar Lap, an Australian movie about a racehorse.
These are other movies that I loved, or remember from childhood…
Growing up with conservative Christian parents, we didn’t even own a TV until I was around four years old (that’d be 1990-ish). Then, all I was allowed to watch were Saturday morning Christian cartoons on PBS. Sooo… Unlike most people my age who had an affinity for Sesame Street, Clifford The Big Red Dog, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Power Rangers, most of my memories of kids shows are Christian. I decided to look them up again, just for nostalgia’s sake. So this is what I watched as bitty me…
Phonophobia/Ligyrophobia, Auditory Defensiveness, or PTSD: Loud or unexpected noises give me heart-racing, stomach-clenching, brain-sizzling terror. I hate alarm clocks. I leave the room if someone is going to use a blender. I plug my ears when I flush in public restrooms. The PTSD side comes in regarding little kids crying, when I can’t see them. If I can see them and know they’re really okay, and just throwing a tantrum or something, I’m fine. But if I can’t see them, I get intensely distressed and can’t shake the horrible fear that they’re being abused.
Mottephobia: Moths scare me because they don’t seem to have fear of humans. Most insects and animals run away from you – moths don’t give a shit, they just fly up in your face and flap around! I hate that. I have spent many a night hiding under my covers for fear of moths getting me.
Acridophobia: Crickets and grasshoppers freak me out for the same reason moths do. Crickets are worse about this, because unlike other bugs, they don’t jump away from you – they jump into you, crazily! Gahhhhh! I do think crickets look very cool, though.
Sinkholophobia: This is an unofficial term, but when that massive black sinkhole opened up in Guatemala, a new fear of mine was born. I’m usually not at all scared of typical scary things – horror film monsters don’t scare me, etc. But this shit SCARES ME. *shudders and snuggles into Daddy*
Agliophobia: Pain…scares me more than death. ‘Nuff said.
Maieusiophobia: Giving birth. *shakes head vehemently* Never gonna happen.
Misophonia: This one isn’t really a fear, but I was hard up for filling this thing out. hehe It’s really more of an annoyance – it’s about quiet but repetitive noises such as someone chewing or an animal grooming itself. It drives me nuts.
Seven Fears and Phobias
Living and/or dying alone. I could actually just expand that to BEING alone, but that’s not actually true. I don’t fear actually being alone. I don’t like it, but I could. Going through life alone and dying alone though? Yeah, that’s tied with the next for my biggest fear.
Abandonment is my other biggest fear/phobia. People I love leaving me, or not caring about me, or turning against me.
Loss of loved ones. This ties into the above two, but they are all different in their own ways. I know growing up, drifting apart, growing in different direction, death, and so on are all a natural part of life, but I still fear losing the people I care about.
Effing up where the people I care about are concerned. I fear hurting those I care about, putting them in no-win situations, making a bad situation worse, and just generally being worse for them than I am good.
Not being able to protect those I care about. An example would be the proverbial back alley mugging situation. I’m mentally and emotionally comfortable with me getting hurt or even killed, but I have a LOT of fear that I will fail to protect my loved one(s).
Blindness. I don’t live in constant fear of it, but I depend on my eyesight heavily. I don’t want to, but I believe I could handle going deaf. Blind though… that’s scary.
I consider myself to be somewhere between Atheist and Agnostic, but I was raised Christian. So I will admit that I do still have a fear of dying and finding out I was wrong. That is not to say I fear dying. I fear being wrong and going to hell. As I understand Christianity though, if you go through the whole believe/confess/be baptized schtick it should be out of a love of god, not a fear of hell.