Songs from My Childhood

Songs from My Childhood 2-15-13

It’s taken me eight solid days to compile this list…and I can’t lie, I’m relieved I’m finally finished!  It’s mostly for my own reference, so I wanted it to be comprehensive.  I went through our old cassette tapes, kids movies, my mom’s CD collection, and brainstormed like whoa, and I am finally ready to release this soundtrack to my childhood.  Yes Smilie  So, without further adieu…

Lullabies and Kids Songs

“Rock-a-bye Baby”

“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”

“Mary Had a Little Lamb”

“The Alphabet Song”

“A-a-apple Phonics Song” by Sue Dickson

This is probably one of the first songs I ever learned.  Taught me the alphabet as well as phonics.  We had the whole thing tacked up on the wall and we’d walk around singing it just like the little girl in the video.  D’aww!

“Happy Birthday to You”

“Happy Birthday to You” – Variation

This snarky version of the Birthday song was taught to me at Sunday School by some boys.  Naturally.  Tongue2

“The Itsy Bitsy Spider”

“I’m a Little Teapot”

“Old MacDonald Had a Farm”

“Bingo”

“Row, Row, Row Your Boat”

“London Bridge is Falling Down”

Growing up, I thought it was “London Bridges Falling Down”.  heh heh  But me and my friends played this game/sang the song a lot.  Yes Smilie

“This Old Man”

“Three Little Fishies” by Kay Kyser

“There’s a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea”

“There’s a Hole in the Bucket”

When I was around four, my mom was babysitting another little kid, and at lunch he started singing this song to my mom, because there was a hole in his sandwich.  “There’s a hole in my sandwich, Mrs. ______, Mrs. ______!”  Skype Old giggle

“The Water Buffalo Song” from VeggieTales

“I Love You” from Barney and Friends

“Michael Finnegan” from Barney and Friends

“John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” from Barney and Friends

“99 Bottles of Coke”

TV Show Themes

“The Song That Doesn’t End” from Lamb Chop’s Play-Along

“Where in The World is Carmen Sandiego” by Rockapella

Quigley’s Village Theme

My brother and I used to hum this to each other to put ourselves to sleep when we were little.  Skype Old mm

The Gospel Bill Show Theme

Reading Rainbow Theme

Barney and Friends Theme

Touched by an Angel Theme

Oldies

“Limbo Rock” by Chubby Checker

“Downtown” by Petula Clark

The two songs above are ones I distinctly remember skating and roller blading to at Skate City as a kid.  *sniffle*  Great memories.

“I Want To Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles

I remember this song coming over the air waves in a Taco Bell when I was young, and my Mom freaking out and telling us she used to be in love with Paul McCartney.  One of my first introductions to non-Christian music.  heh heh

Christian Songs / Artists

Michael W. Smith is my favorite singer, and I grew up with a lot of his earlier songs on cassette tapes.  I re-discovered him as a tween and have been in love ever since.  These are songs of his I remember from childhood…

“Nothin’ But The Blood” by Michael W. Smith

“Agnus Dei” by Michael W. Smith

“Great is the Lord” by Michael W. Smith

“Lamu” by Michael W. Smith

“My Place in This World” by Michael W. Smith

“Love Crusade” by Michael W. Smith

“Cross My Heart” by Michael W. Smith

“Hand of Providence” by Michael W. Smith

“The Throne” by Michael W. Smith

“I’ll Be Around” by Michael W. Smith

“Awesome God” by Michael W. Smith

Keith Green’s voice can still bring me to tears, even though I’ve drifted far from my Christian upbringing.  His songs will always have a very special place in my heart.

“Your Love Broke Through” by Keith Green

“No One Believes in Me Anymore” by Keith Green

“Because of You” by Keith Green

“Lies” by Keith Green

“You are the One” by Keith Green

“He’ll Take Care of the Rest” by Keith Green

“You” by Keith Green

“Oh Lord, You’re Beautiful” by Keith Green

These are some of the worship songs ingrained in my memory from age five and under…

“Lift Jesus Higher” by Vineyard from You Are Here/Hosanna

“Hosanna” by Vineyard from You Are Here/Hosanna

“It’s Your Blood” by Vineyard from You Are Here/Hosanna

“Wounded Soldier” by Danny Daniels (originally from You Are Here/Hosanna)

“I Believe in Jesus” by Marc Nelson from Change My Heart Oh God

“Hosanna” by Carl Tuttle from Change My Heart Oh God

“Refiner’s Fire” by Brian Doerksen from Change My Heart Oh God

“More Love, More Power” by Keith Matten

Twila Paris is a voice I grew up on, along with Kelly Willard and so many others.  My favorite Twila Paris songs are from her Christmas album, which you’ll find further down.  I can never get over how clear and beautiful her voice is.

“We Will Glorify” by Twila Paris

“He is Exalted” by Twila Paris

“Run To You” by Twila Paris

“The Warrior is a Child” by Twila Paris

“We Bow Down” by Twila Paris

I don’t remember many songs directly from the sibling band 2nd Chapter of Acts, but I definitely remember Matthew Ward’s voice as a staple of my later childhood.  I love his harmonies, and his album My Redeemer is full of some of my favorite worship songs.  My teenaged brother recognized him in a store once and tickled him pink by knowing who he was, decades after the Jesus Music craze.  BigGrin

“Easter Song” by 2nd Chapter of Acts

“Takin’ the Easy Way” by 2nd Chapter of Acts

“To the King” by Matthew Ward

“My Redeemer” by Matthew Ward

“There is a Redeemer” by Matthew Ward

“All That I Am” by Annie Herring

Cheri Keaggy’s first album came out when I was eight years old.  It was a constant in our house, and I find the music very calming, now.

“Make My Life an Altar” by Cheri Keaggy

“Worship Medley: We Have Come To Worship Him / There is Joy in the Lord” by Cheri Keaggy

“Little Boy On His Knees” by Cheri Keaggy

I was surprised to find so many Amy Grant songs conjuring up memories of the past, but I guess the truth is, my parents had more of her tapes than Michael W. Smith’s.  Wink Smilie  These are my favorites from her, though I snipped a half-dozen more off the list that I clearly remember from childhood.

“El Shaddai” by Amy Grant

“Thy Word” by Amy Grant

“Stay for Awhile” by Amy Grant

“Takes a Little Time” by Amy Grant

“Baby Baby” by Amy Grant

“Lead Me On” by Amy Grant

“Emmanuel” by Amy Grant

“Love Will Find a Way” by Amy Grant

“Everywhere I Go” by Amy Grant

“Father’s Eyes” by Amy Grant

“Big Yellow Taxi” by Amy Grant

“Willing Heart” by Kelly Willard

“I Pledge Allegiance to the Lamb” by Ray Boltz

“We Are the Reason” by David Meece

“A Song in the Night” by Silverwind

“Amazing Grace” by Judy Collins

“Gospel Train” from Smoky Mountain Sunday

“The Coloring Song” by Petra

“Fight the Fight” from Fight the Fight: Rescue the Unborn

“Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus”

When I was growing up, this was my mom’s favorite hymn, and we often sang it in house church.  It always filled me with a sense of awe.

“From The Rising Of The Sun”

I honestly never heard a recorded version of this song, so I’m just linking the only one I found that has the same melody and lyrics I grew up with.  t.s.d. used to play guitar and sing this song, often at night while my brother and I were falling asleep.  When we got older we used to sing it to each other from our rooms as we were going to bed.

“Be Bold, Be Strong”

“Somebody’s Prayin’”

“He Knows My Name”

“Mighty Is Our God”

Christian Kids Songs

“Tree Song” by Evie

This song always comes to mind when I think of Christian kids music.  It was my favorite slow song as a kid, and it still makes me sniffle now when I listen to it.  Evie’s voice is so pretty.

“Knock, Knock, Knock” from Bullfrogs and Butterflies

This was my number one favorite song as a kid.  I could have sung it all day long.  I even remember the first time I heard it.  I was less than five years old, being babysat at a friend’s house, and we were jumping on a little rebounder and rewinding the song over and over and jumping to it until we couldn’t breathe.  Jump1

“Wake Up, You Sleepyhead” by Rhett Parrish from Brentwood Kids Company Sampler

This song drove t.s.d. nuts, but my brother and I used to love it when we were little.

“John 1:1, 2, & 14” from G.T. and the Halo Express

“Heaven is a Wonderful Place” from Kids Praise 1

“Lord Be Glorified” from Kids Praise 2

“Welcome to Critter County” by Christine Wyrtzen from Critter County

“Deep and Wide”

“Oh, How I Love Jesus”

“I Have Decided to Follow Jesus”

We used to have a thick white hardcover book and a cassette tape that went by this name.  I don’t remember much about them other than it was a bunch of kids running around singing this song.  But I can’t find it anywhere, so if anyone has any idea what it was, I’d love to know.  GiveUp

Instrumentals

“I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing”

My Grandma gave me a Cardinal music box that played this song when I was very young.  It broke and I never knew what the song was until probably fifteen years later, when a Coca-Cola commercial from the 70’s was played during a football game and I recognized it.

“Teddy Bears’ Picnic”

This song plays in a little pink music box I’ve had since I was four or five.  It’s one of my favorite possessions.  I lost the little bear that rotated inside the music box on the street once, and it got run over by a car.  But a few years later, we found one that matched exactly!  He has a little red bowtie.  Skype happy  My box is so old, I’m almost afraid to play it now, but it still sounds as good as it ever did!  I love it so much and sometimes it can still make me cry.

“Music Box Dancer” by Frank Mills

I remember being four or five years old and always seeing the sheet music to this song sitting on our old Kincaid piano.  We had two versions – one was Easy Piano, the other was a bit more difficult.  Mom didn’t know how to play the piano but she loved this song, so she used to work on learning it.  She would get pretty good, then not play it for a few years, then try to learn again.  It’s been a long time since she asked to play the piano in my room, but I have heard her listening to the song on YouTube in her room every once in awhile.  This song makes me feel happy and sad at the same time, but I really love it.  It’s very sweet and pretty…simple, yet when I play it I want to hear it over and over.

“Reveille”

My brother and I used to whistle this at each other in the mornings alllllll the time.  bounce

“Devotion” by Hadley Hockensmith

The entire Heartsongs album by Hadley Hockensmith is like a lullaby to me.  It pretty much reduces me to nostalgic tears every single time.  I adore it.

“Pachelbel’s Canon in D” by Lee Galloway

Piano Songs I Played

“Mary Had a Little Lamb”

This was the very first song I learned on the piano, when I was four or five.  My mom taught it to me.  Sometime after that, I started lessons, which continued into my early teens.

“Malaguena”

Definitely one of my favorite songs I learned as a kid, this is probably what started my love of Spanish music.

“Light and Blue”

Easy as heck but still one of my favorite songs to play.  I’ve known this since I was six years old.

“Heart and Soul”

Some friends from Texas visited us when my brother and I were young, and taught us to play this duet.  A few years later when I was around twelve, we met a girl who could play the duet alone.  Naturally, my brother and I wouldn’t be shown up by some girl, so we both taught ourselves to do the same.  bigrazz

“Autumn Glow”

Beautiful and heart-rendingly sad, I absolutely love this song.

“Staccato Caprice”

So fun to play, and easy to jazz up and add things to, as is the previous “Light and Blue”.  I’ve always played this about ten times faster than the girl in the video.  Bliss  hehe

“Now Do We Fight Them” by Bruce Rowland from Return to Snowy River (2:30-4:30)

For Bertha.

“The Knuckle Song”

“Ten Little Indians”

“The Purple Cow”

Christmas Songs

“O Holy Night” by Twila Paris and Matthew Ward

It’s been a tradition that this is the first Christmas song we play every year, while decorating the house.  It always makes Mom get teary-eyed and it has become one of my favorite Christmas songs, as well.

“Hallelujah Chorus” by Twila Paris

“I Saw Three Ships” by Twila Paris

“The Promise” by Michael Card

“Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song)” by Amy Grant

“Tennessee Christmas” by Amy Grant

“Christmas is a Time to Love” from Psalty’s Christmas Calamity

“The Little Drummer Boy” from Kids’ Christmas Sing-a-long

“I’m Gonna Wrap Myself Up for Christmas” from Psalty’s Family Christmas Sing-a-long

“Go Tell It on the Mountain”

“All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”

The rest are songs featured in movies, or film scores…

Animal Movies

“The Ride” etc. by Carmine Coppola from The Black Stallion (37:30 to 44:20)

“Together Again” by Georges Delerue from The Black Stallion Returns

Black Beauty Theme by Danny Elfman

Beautiful music from a very sad and touching horse movie.  Conf2

“Roll Over Beethoven” by Paul Shaffer & The World’s Most Dangerous Band, featured in Beethoven

“Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson from Free Willy

I remember playing with my friend Lindsey to this song as the whales breached and splashed onscreen.  We would put our arms up like we were diving, and “pshhh” and splash all over the living room.  Blink

“Born Free” by Matt Monro from Born Free

I loved this movie when I was little, and I named one of my early stuffed animals after the lioness.  However, I also loved The Lion King, so I named her for that, as well…  The result?  Elsa Nala…

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Animated Movies

“Looking For Romance (I Bring You a Song)” by Cast from Bambi

A lot of the music from Bambi scared me when I was very little, but this piece is really beautiful and swayful.  Roll2

“I Just Can’t Wait to be King” by Jason Weaver, Laura Williams, and Rowan Atkinson from The Lion King

Still my favorite Disney movie.  It was so hard to choose a song, but I decided to go with the songs that were my favorites as a child, or that made the deepest impression on me at that age, and this was the one.  Jump9

“Friend Like Me” by Robin Williams from Aladdin

“Forget About Love” by Liz Callaway, Gilbert Gottfried, and Brad Kane from The Return of Jafar

“Cruella De Vil” by Bill Lee from 101 Dalmatians

“Goodbye May Seem Forever” by Jeanette Nolan from The Fox and the Hound

This song made my four year old self shiver with tears I tried so very hard to hold back.  It still breaks me up when I listen to it.

“Be Our Guest” by Jerry Orbach and Angela Lansbury from Beauty and the Beast

“Let Me Be Your Wings” by Gary Imhoff and Jodi Benson from Thumbelina

“A Fair is a Veritable Schmorgasboard-orgasboard-orgasboard” by Agnes Moorehead and Paul Lynde from Charlotte’s Web

I have a different favorite song from Charlotte’s Web now, but when I was little, the above was the funnest, and therefore, my favorite.  hehe

“Heigh-Ho” by Cast from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

My brother and I used to pretend we were dwarfs.  Skype happy  He was Doc and I switched between Dopey and Bashful.

End Credits by Bruce Broughton from The Rescuers Down Under

“I Wanna Be Like You” by Louis Prima, Phil Harris, and Bruce Reitherman from The Jungle Book

“Ev’rybody Wants To Be A Cat” by Cast from The Aristocats

Kids Movies

“Let’s Get Together” by Hayley Mills and Hayley Mills from The Parent Trap

“I Get Around” by The Beach Boys, featured in Flight of the Navigator

“Let’s Go Fly a Kite” by Cast from Mary Poppins

I remember being sublimely happy, singing this song to myself as I played on the swings at my friend’s house.  *sniffles*  Rainbow

“A Place of My Own” by Jennifer Edwards from Heidi

“Kindle My Heart” by Liesel Matthews from A Little Princess

“We Are the Champions” by Queen, featured in The Mighty Ducks

Western Movies

“Jessica’s Theme” by Bruce Rowland from The Man from Snowy River

I grew up watching this and the following film, and the music is some of my favorite in the world.  I learned many of the songs on piano before the age of ten, and even my teacher struggled to get through them at first.  Extremely beautiful, sometimes sad, and often intricate, I will always love Bruce Rowland’s scores.

“Skill at Arms” by Bruce Rowland from Return to Snowy River

“Gunfight at the O.K. Corral” by Frankie Laine from Gunfight at the O.K. Corral

As a kid, I loved this song so much that I hand-wrote all the lyrics as I played and rewound the VHS over and over.  Jump6

“El Dorado” by George Alexander from El Dorado

I couldn’t find the score by Nelson Riddle, though that is what I loved best from El Dorado when I was young – the suspenseful music as they’re walking down either side of the street!

Theme by Elmer Bernstein from The Magnificent Seven

Theme by Elmer Bernstein from The Sons of Katie Elder

“Here’s to the Ladies” by Frankie Avalon (originally by Frankie Avalon and Chill Wills from The Alamo)

“I’ll Take You Home Again Kathleen” by Ken Curtis from Sons Of The Pioneers, featured in Rio Grande

I love this song, it’s so sad and beautiful!

Old Movies

“Baby Elephant Walk” by Henry Mancini from Hatari!

Still one of my favorites to play on piano.

“Prelude” by Elmer Bernstein from The Ten Commandments

“The Galley” by Miklos Rozsa from Ben-Hur

Oh God, the suspense and tension of this scene in Ben-Hur is only topped by the incredible chariot race!  They just don’t make music or movies like this, anymore…

“Ave Caesar” by Miklos Rozsa from Quo Vadis

“Legend and Epilogue” by Miklos Rozsa from El Cid (1:45)

“In The Meadow” by Debbie Reynolds from How The West Was Won

I didn’t realize until about a year ago, but I absolutely adore Debbie Reynold’s voice, and it’s partially due to this song, and mostly due to her singing in Charlotte’s Web.  I started tearing up when I re-watched this movie, and didn’t understand why.  Her voice just touches something deep inside me.  When I researched her name, I discovered she was the voice of Charlotte.  Skype Old mm

“Amen” by Jester Hairston (dubbing Sidney Poitier) from Lilies of the Field

This did it, I’ve had a soft spot for hand-clappin’ black church music ever since!  Bliss

Musicals / Shows

“Barn Dance” by Gene de Paul from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

This is one of my all-time favorite movies, and it was so hard to choose a favorite song.  In the end, I thought back to how I felt about this movie as a little kid, and the barn dance and fight were unquestionably my most favorite part!  Trendy

“Do Re Mi” by Julie Andrews and Cast from The Sound of Music

“Mandy” by Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, and Rosemary Clooney from White Christmas

This is hands-down my favorite Christmas movie ever, and this sequence is the most exciting part!  I used to sneak around the house with my little heart belt cinched tight past all the holes, dancing around like a goon pretending I was Vera-Ellen.  Skype Old giggle

“Riverdance” with Michael Flatley from Riverdance

“You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two” by Ron Moody from Oliver!

“It’s the Hard-Knock Life” by Aileen Quinn from Annie

Christian Movies

“Give it Away” from Colby’s Missing Memory (6:33-9:13)

Christian Beach Boys rip-off at it’s best!  Trendy

“God’s Love is the Rule” from The Donut Man

My first introduction to rap.  Tongue2

“The Recipe Song” from Kid’s Praise 4! – Singsational Servants

“Cares Chorus” from Kids’ Praise 5 – Psalty’s Camping Adventure

“I am a C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n” from The Sunday Sing-a-Long Video (Maranatha! Kids) (21:41-23:18)

Definitely one of my favorite songs when I was in Sunday School at like, age four.  *giggles*  It just gets faster and faster and faster and oh my gosh, it’s so funnnn!  Roll2

Misc. Movies

“Johnny Has Gone for a Soldier” by Mark O’Connor and James Taylor from Liberty!

I finally figured out why I love James Taylor’s voice.  None Smilie  It’s because I grew up listening to this song and loving it!

“M’appari tutt’amor” by Friedrich von Flotow, featured in Skylark

This song is in a very touching scene in the movie Skylark, with Glenn Close, and I just love it.  I have three or four versions.  MSN redrose

Movies from My Childhood

Kids Movies

As I mentioned in an earlier Childhood post, my family didn’t own a TV until I was around four years old.  Some of the first movies I remember ever watching were Bambi, the Disney movie, of course; Stagecoach, the first movie John Wayne and John Ford worked together on; and Phar Lap, an Australian movie about a racehorse.

These are other movies that I loved, or remember from childhood…

Animal Movies

The Black Stallion

The Black Stallion Returns

Misty

Black Beauty

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco

Beethoven

Free Willy

Iron Will

Milo & Otis

Pete’s Dragon

Born Free

National Velvet

Babe

The Three Lives of Thomasina

Into the West

Where the Red Fern Grows

Animated Movies

The Lion King

Aladdin

The Return of Jafar

101 Dalmatians

The Fox and the Hound

Beauty and the Beast

Thumbelina

Charlotte’s Web

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The Rescuers

The Rescuers Down Under

The Jungle Book

The Aristocats

Kids Movies

The Parent Trap

Flight of the Navigator

Mary Poppins

The Journey of Natty Gann

Heidi

Toby Tyler, or Ten Weeks with a Circus

Shipwrecked

A Little Princess

The Mighty Ducks

D2: The Mighty Ducks

D3: The Mighty Ducks

The NeverEnding Story

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

E.T.

Angels in the Outfield

A Cry in the Wild

Westerns

The Man from Snowy River

Return to Snowy River

Gunfight at the O.K. Corral

El Dorado

True Grit

The Magnificent Seven

Shane

McLintock!

Broken Lance

The Rare Breed

The Sons of Katie Elder

The Man from Utah

‘Neath Arizona Skies

Riders of Destiny

Overland Stage Raiders

Gunsmoke Collector’s Edition – Matt Gets It, Tap Day for Kitty, Hack Prine, and The Killer

The Alamo

Old Movies

Hatari!

The Ten Commandments

Ben-Hur

Quo Vadis

El Cid

The Bible

Across the Great Divide

Musicals / Shows

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The Sound of Music

White Christmas

Riverdance

Brigadoon

Oliver!

Annie

Christian Movies

Gingerbrook Fare – Obedience

Colby’s Missing Memory

The Donut Hole – Jesus Shows Us God’s Love

Kid’s Praise! 4 – Singsational Servants!

Kids’ Praise! 5 – Psalty’s Camping Adventure

Gerbert – The World Around Us

Gerbert – Created for Good Works

Sunday Sing-a-Long Video (Maranatha! Kids)

The ButterCream Gang

The ButterCream Gang in Secret of Treasure Mountain

Children’s Bible Story of Jesus – The Resurrection

Children’s Heroes of the Bible – Joseph & his Coat of Many Colors

The Greatest Adventure – The Miracles of Jesus

Books from My Childhood Part 2

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Part 2 of Books from My Childhood lists book series that I read, or that were read to me, as a child.  Yes Smilie

Agapeland Character Builders (pictured above)

Peter Rabbit and Friends by Beatrix Potter

The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner

The Mandie Books by Lois Gladys Leppard

Grandma’s Attic by Arleta Richardson

Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder

In Search of Perlas Grandes and its sequel, The Indian’s Ruby by Timothy C. Davis

Elsie Dinsmore by Martha Finley

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

All of Marguerite Henry’s horse novels (most notably, Misty of Chincoteague and its sequels)

Books from My Childhood Part 1

Books from my Childhood Part 1 1-31-13

I love reading and writing, and being read to is no exception.  The following list are picture books from my childhood, books that I read, or books that were read to me, as a toddler or little kid.  bounce  Part 2 will be about book series.

El Blanco: The Legend of the White Stallion by Rutherford Montgomery

Christian Mother Goose Tales by Marjorie Ainsborough Decker

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff, illustrated by Felicia Bond

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm

The Little Lamb by Judy Dunn

Rhubarb by Stephen Cosgrove, illustrated by Robin James

Gossamer by Stephen Cosgrove, illustrated by Wendy Edelson

Exploring the Titanic by Robert D. Ballard

Little Peep by Jack Kent

The Tale of Three Trees by Angela Elwell Hunt, illustrated by Tim Jonke

Village Tales (Firefly the Foal, Geronimo Grub, Twinette the Spider, and Tuppence and Tiffany) retold by Pat Wynnejones, illustrated by Sheila Ratcliffe

Hedgerow Tales (Benjamin Bee, Charlotte the Caterpillar, Jeremy Cricket, and Robin Redbreast) retold by Pat Wynnejones, illustrated by Sandra Fernandez

Kirby Koala – I’m Thankful For… by Ruth Silverstein, illustrated by Norma Garris

Pandy and the Little Bird by Oda Taro

It’s Groundhog Day! by Steven Kroll, illustrated by Jeni Bassett

Toothbrush the Dog by Bonnie Wilkerson

The Lord Is My Shepherd (The Twenty-Third Psalm) illustrated by Tasha Tudor

Who Lives Here? (Animals of the Pond, Forest, Prairie, Desert, Mountains, Meadow, and Swamp) by Dot and Sy Barlowe

Dusty D. Dawg Has Feelings, Too! by Nancy McConnell, illustrated by Bill Stroble

Animal Babies by Harry McNaught

Baby Animals by Harry McNaught

Richard Scarry’s Please and Thank You Book

Richard Scarry’s Best Storybook Ever

Richard Scarry’s Bedtime Stories

Sarah Morton’s Day (A Day in the Life of a Pilgrim Girl) by Kate Waters

TV Shows from My Childhood

TV Shows from my Childhood 1-31-13

Growing up with conservative Christian parents, we didn’t even own a TV until I was around four years old (that’d be 1990-ish).  Then, all I was allowed to watch were Saturday morning Christian cartoons on PBS.  Sooo…  Unlike most people my age who had an affinity for Sesame Street, Clifford The Big Red Dog, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Power Rangers, most of my memories of kids shows are Christian.  I decided to look them up again, just for nostalgia’s sake.  So this is what I watched as bitty me…  Blink

Quigley’s Village

Sunshine Factory

Davey and Goliath

Reading Rainbow

The Gospel Bill Show

Mister Rogers

Lamb Chop’s Play-Along

Barney & Friends

Circle Square

Things I Miss About Childhood

Things I Miss About Childhood 1-20-13

Getting a sticker when I went to the dentist, Sam’s, Wal-Mart, or Current.

Spending the whole day on the trampoline.

Being small enough to ride in that seat on the back of someone’s bike.

Not having to know the directions.

Getting a balloon when I went to kid-friendly restaurants.

Always knowing my order – chicken and fries!

Not worrying about anything past that day.

Shoveling the neighbor lady’s driveway and getting Christmas candy for it.

Still being friends with someone even if they disappeared to another state for years, then came back.

Getting “just because” presents from Grandma and Grandpa.

Being covered in dog hair and not caring because I was just thrilled to have a pet.

Having a natural tan because I played outside all summer long.

Not caring how I look.

The free plastic cup that came with kids meals at restaurants.

Making instant friends at McDonald’s and everywhere else.

Birthday parties, cake and ice cream, party favor bags!

Getting people’s unwanted little pets because they were moving.

Jumping off the swings.

The neighbor guy paying me to walk his dog which I would have ecstatically done for free.

Things I Used To Believe

I thought pickles were pickles, I didn’t find out they were cucumbers until I was twenty-three.

I thought vegetarians only ate vegetables until I was probably sixteen.

I thought Michael Jackson was white until I was a teenager.

I thought it was illegal to drink ANYTHING, and drive.

I thought the Arby’s sign was a giant weirdly-drawn cowboy hat, and it took me years to figure out why they said “I’m thinkin’ Arby’s” when they had that hat floating above their heads.

Until I was probably thirteen, I always wondered what honeydew melons had to do with the list Mom would make for dad on weekends…  “The Honey-Do List”.

I couldn’t figure out why artichoke hearts weren’t red and bloody, while they seemed like a vegetable.

Once in a grammar book I came across the word “sandwich”, and told my mom they spelled “witch” wrong, and what was a sand witch anyway??  I thought it was samwich.

I couldn’t understand why it was okay to eat grapes when I was little, but not drink wine.

I thought sheep, dogs, etc. were born with docked tails.

I thought my mom was joking when she said she made me a baloney sandwich…for years I heard it in the phrase, “What a bunch of baloney!” and thought it was only a word.

My friends were baffled when I said I’d never heard of Ramen Noodles.  We called it Itchy Bon.

I thought coleslaw was Cold Slaw.

It dawned on me at twenty-three that pancakes are called that because they’re cakes made in a pan.

When I was little we went to TCBY and I pointed out “Ice Cream Sundae” on the menu and told my mom they spelled Sunday wrong.

I was in my late teens when I asked for those “special” giant marshmallows…only then did I discover that all my life I’d been eating miniature marshmallows without knowing it.

I was baffled that a family friend wanted to eat at an Indian restaurant…he wasn’t an Indian!

I was confused when I ate corned beef for the first time and there was no corn.

I thought lobsters at seafood restaurants were like fish at the dentist’s office…  Thankfully I figured it out on my own and never had my little heart crushed when I was young.

The Sledding Hill

I remember being woken up in the middle of the night, when it snowed.  Everything outside my window would be blue and shimmery.

We’d stumble downstairs and dig into the coat closet underneath the stairs, rummaging around for the basket full of snow clothes.  Snoopy hats and thick gloves that were too big for me…  Several layers of clothes, and hiking boots that were big enough to be my brother’s.  Fuzzy pink earmuffs.  And off we’d go, into the snowy night.

Sometimes it was windy and cold, other times just quiet and still.  Our sleds scraped over the fresh snow behind us.  We’d tied ropes through the front so we could pull them.  Mine was pink and my brother’s was orange.  Snowball, our Samoyed mix dog, would thunder around us, kicking up snow and chasing out sleeping rabbits from under the bushes.

We’d follow dad up the road, past my best friend’s house, and all the way to the main street where we’d fight past our heavy snow clothes and climb onto the wall made of stone and brick.  Then we’d carefully march up and down the steps of the wall, over the big humps of the posts, and on, the frigid air tingling in our noses.  Whoever went first was lucky, because they got to shove off the piles of fresh snow from the fence posts.  Early on, I was so small I had to sit on the posts and spin around to get over them.  When I was older, I could step up onto them, or over them.

Sometimes we could see the stars, but sometimes it was still snowing and there were huge clouds covering everything.  Dad would help us off the wall before we reached the ditch where the cow skeletons were, and we’d start on the long trudge up the sledding hill.  It was all covered in weeds, and even cactus here and there, but it would snow so much, you didn’t really notice.  It took so long to climb up the hill, but when you reached the top, the air was so crisp and you had such a long way to sled down the hill, it was all worth it.

Sometimes I’d be scared, looking straight down that huge hill all the way to the bottom, or be afraid I might slide all the way into the ditch.  But I never did.  Sometimes dad would sit behind me, or push me so I’d go fast.  Sometimes my brother would go with me, and sometimes we would race each other.  Snowball would run along beside us, trying to climb into our sleds on the way down.  We’d laugh and scream and our voices were the only sound in that huge empty field.

It was fun sliding down the hill but took so long and it was so hard climbing all the way back up again.  My boots would slip in the snow and so I would try to walk in dad’s footprints, but they were always too big for me to reach.  But up I’d climb, over and over, until we couldn’t breathe from the cold and our noses were red and our toes were numb.

Then we’d climb back up on the wall and make the trek back home, where Mom would always be waiting for us to tell her how much fun we had sledding, while we drank hot chocolate and tried to warm up.  Then we would finally curl up warm and tight in our beds again and fall asleep, waking up the next morning to a beautiful white world.

Several years later, bulldozers leveled my sledding hill flat and built a school where it should have been.  But every time I drive down that road and look at the wall, I remember walking on it through the snow in the dark, and smile.  I will never forget the sledding hill.

A Little Girl Needs A Daddy

It’s been a fun and fact-filled week for me, realizing I’m a Babygirl. When going through my pictures to see what I should upload here, I realized that my room isn’t just immature and colorful…it’s um…a Babygirl room. I suppose I always thought I was just young at heart, but the past few days I’ve been contemplating if I was always like this, and the answer is, no. I don’t like the Why, but here it is…

There were a few years where I’d outgrown childhood and was shunning Disney movies as “kids stuff”. I was thirteen or so, and I wanted to be a grown-up. I got rid of my Barbies, I sold my precious Grand Champion model horse collection, I cleared tons of things out of my Baby Box and even threw away a few stuffed animals. Then when I was seventeen, we left my dad. It was what I wanted, and I don’t regret my choice to cut him out of my life for the past eight years one bit. But I’m only recently realizing how deeply the loss of a father figure has affected me.

Looking back, I remember that first year we left him, I started watching Disney movies again. They made me feel little, they were familiar and safe. I started listening to the music I listened to when I was little…it was like a lullaby. I began a five-year obsession with stuffed animals. If it was cute, and snuggly, it had to be mine. I poured every cent I had into things that felt soft and comforting. The past three years it’s morphed into things such as cuddly blankets, and fuzzy pajama pants.

Now that I look at it from this perspective, it seems so blatantly obvious that I was trying to self-soothe. I was trying to recreate my childhood…the safety I felt there, the smallness, the innocence.

I feel so angry that this was caused by walking away from my dad. The sperm donor doesn’t deserve to make me feel anything. I’m going to have to deal with the fact that I do feel something, and the resentment I have about that. But for now, it helps to know that I don’t miss my dad, I simply miss a father figure. And that’s okay. It’s natural. Daughters are meant to have fathers they can trust in and rely on. If the real one isn’t around, is incapable, or simply doesn’t care…then she can find someone who is around, who is capable, who does care…someone worthy of her love.

I will own that. A little girl needs a Daddy.

Worthlessness and Daddy Domination

The past few weeks, I’ve come to realize that I have needs and desires I wasn’t previously aware of. Some of them, I’m able to swallow… Others are potentially damaging. I’m pretty stunned by most of them, and have been trying to find the Why behind them, while also attempting to accept them as they come.

I’ve been talking with various friends, trying to find other perspectives on things. I’m sort of keeping a tentative eye open for the person who might fulfill these needs for me… But besides not being sure if a lot of it is a good idea, I think trying to get it all from one person would be impossible. But I can imagine if it did happen, I could regret it…mostly the physical abuse part. To delve into that topic…

I believe I am worthless. It began before I reached puberty, and I know that my dad was a big facilitator in those early feelings of no self-esteem. It’s normal for fathers to pull away physically when their daughters start growing up, but he became disdainful, critical about everything…mostly my body. Instead of my mom introducing me to things like make-up, he was always the one in my ear, he was the one who made me start shaving and made me feel ashamed of my body; he criticized my hair, made me wear dresses and never pants, forced me to go on long bike rides with him when I was on my period and wanted nothing more than to just stay home… I felt like I was never good enough and never able to make my own decisions or feel validated. I’ve hated my body since those early days when I was twelve or so. I know everyone blames the media and movie stars for making girls feel inadequate, but it was never that, for me. I just KNEW I wasn’t good enough, and never could be. I was out of my teens before I finally found one thing about my body that I could admit I liked, and that was my eyes…they could never change, never gain weight, never be anything other than the pretty kaleidoscope of colors that they already were.

My feelings of worthlessness have only grown stronger and deeper as time goes by, first from that place I didn’t know about (which I’m now beginning to think was initiated by my dad), and then by looking at other girls around me (again, never media) and seeing that I didn’t measure up, and finally in relationships. What’s sad is that my relationships have almost never ended in rejection… What I’ve found to happen when I get close to someone, is that I begin to doubt their sincerity. I have these ready-made excuses for why anyone would ever care about me. Most commonly, it’s “They just don’t know me well enough yet”. There’s never a doubt in my mind that once some threshold is crossed, they’ll realize the truth of my uselessness, and discard me. If our closeness fails to produce this result, I get panicky, and activate my first defense mechanism, which is pushing people away. I have many methods for this one, but they all have the same end result. If I cannot push someone away either by discontinuing the attractive sides of my personality, avoidance, downright rudeness, or trying to force them to tell me what they hate about me, I will end the relationship myself. Most of the time, that’s what it comes down to. For some inexplicable reason, it’s generally very difficult for me to get someone to abandon me. So in the end, I have a very sad and disturbing track record of abandoning people myself, instead. I’m sure to everyone involved, it seems like I’m a cold-hearted bitch, but hopefully as you see here, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s a desperate act of defense, born of fear and mistrust.

All of the above has been in regards to people who pursue me with care, delight, and respect. We’ve finally reached the topic of abuse, and this is where it really gets tragic. I’ve had people who treat me badly, or talk down to me, and I like it. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. It feels deserved. It feels RIGHT. Someone telling me they love me sounds like a lie…I’m always waiting for the bomb to drop, to figure out what it is they’re trying to get out of me, or what kind of trap they’re teasing me into. Emotional abuse feels natural. It’s static and trustworthy. It has to be real because that’s what I’m good for, it’s what I’m made for, isn’t it? It fits into my universe. It makes sense and it is familiar, thus comforting.

I think this is part of why I keep fantasizing about domination. The thing is…I don’t have a problem with that. Is that bad? Is that wrong? Does that turn you off or on? I crave it, and honestly I don’t care WHY I crave it…I just want it. I do want to understand it, have no doubt about that… But after I understand it, I just want to drown in it. It appeals to me on such a deep, feral level. I want to feel under. I want to feel lesser. I want to be told what to do. Ordered. Forced. I want to be talked down to and called names. All of that would turn me on like fuck. However… I need there to be a different undertone, as well. I want, just as savagely, to be rewarded for accepting that treatment. I need to be told to hold still so he can keep fucking me just the way he wants…because I make HIM feel good. I want him to be angry with me because he WANTS me. I want him to take what he wants, because he can, and tell me how hard it makes him, tell me he can’t hold back his cum and smack me in fury for making him lose control and cum like that. I NEED to be told I’m a good girl. I NEED to hear “Just like that, bitch”.

I need to be condescended to by a man who desires me.