Ways your Daddy has earned, validated, and re-gained your TRUST.

I just wrote and posted this in the group Daddy ~ girl Relationships, and thought it was important enough to make a permanent Writing, too.

Hey little girls,

I have read so many stories recently about broken-hearted and abused Babygirls… I need some positive reinforcement! I know there are good Daddies out there, mine is one of them. I just need somewhere I can go to read about all the good things Daddies have done to earn, validate, and re-gain our trust. Please share ways your Daddy has done this – small things, big things, one thing, or twenty things.

Here are some of mine:

My Daddy is Honest

From day one, he has engaged in the open, communicative relationship that I need and ask for. If that means he’s frustrated or doesn’t agree with me, he will approach me and we will talk about it. If there’s an issue of his that affects us, he will confide in me. If he feels overwhelmed, we can back off and take steps to ensure he feels just as comforted as he makes me feel. My Daddy is real, and this lays the foundation for trust.

My Daddy Listens

He listens to what I say, and not only does he respond to it, but he remembers it! Not only does he remember it, but he takes action to change anything that needs to be changed, whether that be my behavior or his. Not only does he listen to what I say, but he listens to what I don’t say. He is so attentive and good at picking up on the little things that express where I’m at, emotionally…and he will almost always address that, even if I don’t bring up what’s bothering me and try to put on a happy face or a sexy act. My Daddy is attentive to my needs even when I’m not, which continually validates my trust in him.

My Daddy is Reliable

One of the most important expressions of love, for me, is to have someone spend their time on me. He is aware of that and makes a point to ensure me time in his day, even if it’s busy or tiring. He likes to keep me updated on what he’s doing throughout the day, even though he doesn’t require the same of this claustrophobic little girl. My Daddy is where he says he’ll be, because he knows proving himself reliable earns my trust.

My Daddy Needs Me

He’s not obsessed with dominating my every action or keeping himself at a safe emotional distance, letting me be the only vulnerable one. He tells me when he needs snuggles or headrubs, assuring me I should only do so if I want to, and lets me care for him in ways he doesn’t let others. My Daddy needs me, but he gives me choices, creating trust in his integrity.

My Daddy is Humble

He is not afraid to admit he doesn’t know everything, or that he makes mistakes, or that he isn’t perfect…but he sure tries to be! Despite the sometimes blurry line between confidence and arrogance, at the end of the day, he knows I could seek out someone else with more money or straighter teeth…but I choose him. My Daddy admits when he messes up and loves me enough to show me his faults, which deepens and reinforces my trust when need arises.

My Daddy is Curious

Besides listening, he asks. He wants to know how my mind and heart work, so he can better tend to both. This not only makes me feel special, but it pulls out the deepest honesty from me when I might not have otherwise had the courage to bring something up. He is curious about me and about life, which means we never have an end of things to talk about, whether it be cute, funny stuff, or deep, serious issues. My Daddy cultivates a curiosity about me and about life that builds my sense of trust and strengthens my love for him as a person.

I love my Daddy! :)

I Deleted You

(I wrote this for FetLife.com)

Yes, we used to be friends. No, we’re not anymore.

Make no mistake…this was not a mistake.

Don’t keep sending requests, thinking somehow your friendship slipped through the cracks of FetLife. Let me enlighten you on a few of the reasons why this deletion from my friends list may have happened to you…

1. We don’t talk.

I am not a friend collector. I’m not here to get some cyber ego boost from having a couple hundred friends and everyone knowing my name. I’m here to learn about the lifestyle and connect with people who understand me. If we don’t talk on a semi-regular basis, you’re going to get deleted, no matter how hot that picture of your cock is or how bad you want to sub for me. I’m here for connection – if there isn’t one, you’re gone.

2. You don’t respect me.

Respect starts with glancing at my profile long enough to see if I am Dominant, submissive, taken, or open for business. You won’t get the chance to respect me the rest of the way if you begin contact by bursting onto the scene attempting to fill a role I already have filled and clearly marked at the top of my page.

3. I don’t remember who you are.

Maybe we did talk at first, and maybe you were the best thing since fuzzy fox tails, but if you keep changing your picture and don’t bother to say hey now and then, I’m bound to forget about you and you’ll be harvested with the rest of the random guys who have added me over the past month.

4. You have nothing on your profile.

I’m sorry, I don’t handle personality-devoid friends well.

5. You never talked to me.

Believe it or not, I actually accept all friend requests that come my way. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But there’s a special circle of you that think it’s okay to add someone without so much as a Love or a comment, much less a message. If you’re a member of that circle, rest assured, you will be removed from my list very, very soon.

6. Your name is offensive to me.

Yes, we’re on FetLife. Yes, we’re all kinky mother fuckers here. Yes, I’m still a lady and can be disgusted by your derogatory, maggot-infested name. It doesn’t happen often, but on the rare occasion that a username does offend me, I have the right to disassociate myself from you.

7. Your personality is less than engaging.

Maybe you keep in touch, your profile is filled out, and your name smells as fresh as daisies nestled between the breasts of a milkmaid. But maybe we just don’t click, and you know what? That’s alright. Not everyone will and I know I certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But I prefer to spend time and pour effort into people I can wholeheartedly engage with, and if we just aren’t sharing that connection, I will seek it elsewhere and hope you do the same.

So if we used to be BFF’s, and I’ve clearly deleted you from my life – now you may have some idea as to why. If by some chance I’ve made a mistake and after reading this you aren’t so terribly offended as to curse my name to the depths of the earth…well…message me. But for God’s sake, don’t send me another damn friend request. ;)

Unappreciated Married Men and Cyber Sex

I’ve talked and cybered with so many married men, and it’s definitely had an impact on my rather elaborate theory on marriage; besides everyone I have known and observed in real life. But what kills me is that the most intense, electric, sexual, and absolutely addicting men I’ve come into contact with have been married men in their 40’s and 50’s. It gives me so many reactions and so much to think about, I feel like I’m going to explode. What is wrong with their wives?

I’ve since cut off contact, but I used to know a married man who was the epitome of what I sought in a sexual partner… Enthusiastic beyond description, passionate, attentive, appreciative, enthralled, rough, gentle, sweet, demanding, safe, dangerous, creative, accepting, dom, sub. While I barely knew him on a personal level, I have never been so close to someone on an emotionally sexual level. It was intoxicating. He truly is the type of man I would want to marry, if I ever did, from a sexual aspect.

He told me countless times how unresponsive his wife was, sexually. I asked if he showed the same kind of passion with her as he did with me, and he said he did, and she enjoyed it, but she just laid there and took it. It infuriates me that women like that exist…and they’re stealing MY men!!! I had this absolutely amazing man wrapped around my finger with just a willing expression of responsiveness… It makes me sad, and sick, that that was all it really took to bring out these incredible qualities in a man, and no one else was doing it for him. I told him multiple times that if I were to choose who to give my virginity to, it would be him. He exemplified all the things I need and want in a man, and I know he would have taken care of me…and reveled in it with honor.

I only wish I could gather up all of these sex-starved men, so desperate for affection, respect, and validation, and let them all experience what he and I had. I feel like so many married men today are subdued…they’ve given up on that passion, and the idea that it even still exists out there for them. It is such a waste, and so disheartening…when there are girls out there like me, dreaming about them and desiring them. Now, if only we could get me over this virginity hump, maybe I’ll open up for business and start “appreciating” them one by one. :D JK