Day 10 – One Person You Can Trust

Day 10 - One Person You Can Trust 1-29-13

One Person You Can Trust

My Daddy!!!  I love and adore him…and to be honest, I’ve never trusted anyone this implicitly, or deservedly, before.  Gone are the foolish days of trusting because I want someone to be a certain way; or worse, simply because I love someone and hope they’re a certain way.  I trust my Daddy because he has earned it, and he continues earning it all the time.  (I even did a whole Writing on it: Ways your Daddy has earned, validated, and re-gained your TRUST.)  I can trust my Daddy with my emotions, knowing he won’t belittle me, or use them to manipulate me with later.  I can trust him with my insecurities, knowing he will do his best to see me as I really am, while still loving and nurturing me.  I can trust him with my secrets, knowing he won’t judge me (and oh, he’s had cause and opportunity!).  I can trust him with my personality, as bizarre as it may sound…with so many people, I feel I only show them certain sides of me, but with my Daddy, he gets to see the whole gamut, from serious to scared, playful to paranoid, affectionate to aimless, dreamy to depressed.  He’s seen it all and then some, participating in, if not outright causing, new parts of me to develop and grow.  You get the idea.  I love and trust my wonderful Daddy!  Mwahhh!

Here’s my Daddy’s!  Love2

One Person I Can Trust

Do you really expect me to say anyone else other than my Baby? If so, you are a fool and an idiot who has not been paying attention to my answers to the past days of this Challenge. I trust my Baby more than I’ve trusted most of the people in my life. There are some people I have trusted pretty deeply, and she is on par if not beyond them. I trust her with my deepest, darkest secrets. Secrets such as the things I’ve done and the places I’ve been that I haven’t even told the best of my friends. I’ve opened myself to her in ways I never realized I could, and been vulnerable with her in ways that gave her the power to utterly destroy me… and she took it seriously and was supportive and loving. So I trust my Baby with all my heart, which works out, cuz she’s got it pretty much beating in her hand.

Day 8 – Three Words

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Three Words You Can’t Go A Day Without Using

  1. “Love”…sandwiched between “I” and “you”.  My Daddy hears this several dozen times a day.  ILoveYou
  2. “Mwah!”…  Pretty sure I can’t go a day without giving Daddy kissies.  Kiss
  3. “Mmhm”…  This word has about as many meanings and implications as the f-word.  bigrazz  It can infer sexual pleasure, deep agreement, casual interest, occasional encouragement, bothered acknowledgement…the list goes on.  I use it mostly for the first two.  Wink Smilie

Here are my Daddy’s!

Three Words I Can’t Go a Day Without Using

  1. Baby.  Not a single day goes by in which I do not talk to her, and of each of those conversations, sometime during them I call her by my favoritest name, Baby. Or better still, my Baby.
  1. Love. Very often in combination with an “I”, a “you” and the above word. Not a day passes that this combination isn’t used, as well as other combinations.
  1. Fuck. I have some clear views on swearing, and they can be summed up by saying, “appropriate use only”. I don’t like it when people swear just to swear, with no point. If whatever situation/event warrants it, then by all means go ahead. Otherwise, choose something more appropriate. That being said, fuck is such a versatile word! So I’m pretty sure it gets said at some point every day. Appropriately within context, of course.

Day 6 – A Song That Reminds You Of A Best Friend

A Song That Reminds You Of A Best Friend

“I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz

We started out as best friends, and now I’m his Baby.  Love2  This song was in the running to be “our song”, but Daddy personally latched onto it so intensely that it will always remind me of him.  Parts of it fit us and make me think about all the love, but I always see him singing it in my head and think of all the positive things he’s got going on in his life right now.  I’m honored to be a part of it and I respect all the growth I’ve seen in him as well as what he cultivates in me.  I love my Daddy!

The following song couldn’t be more different – I apologize for the whiplash.  ;)

“Liar” by Living Sacrifice

This song was introduced to me by Ryan, who only listened to metal, when I was sixteen.  He tried to help me find my metal groove but I never could.  Still, of all the songs he introduced me to, this was my favorite.  It doesn’t say anything about the relationship between us, but it always makes me think about him and remember the journey we had together for the better part of a decade.  He was my longest-lasting friend.

“Let It Go” by Gavin DeGraw

This song is for Honey.  Technically we were best friends, as I refused to date at the time, but we’ve since agreed that we were pretty much in a relationship.  I ended things because of a perceived betrayal, but I’m not really sure it was legitimate.  He’s tried to make it up to me and earn my trust back but I was convinced it was all broken.  I do still care for him though, and we’ve talked a few times this year.  This song always makes me sad and miss him, and wish things had taken a different course.

Here are Daddy’s songs!  :)

A Song that Reminds Me of a Best Friend 

Both these songs remind me of one of my BEST friends in my life right now, my Baby. “Hotel California” has special significance because it is a song we both like. I’m not sure why I identify this song with her and not a variety of other songs we both like, but I do. Any time I hear it I’m reminded of her, and I love that. The next is a lullaby by Kenny Loggins about ponies. My Baby loves ponies, it’s a sweet lullaby, and I learned about it via her so now it reminds me of her as well. I love you, Baby. <3

This is the actual official version by Nickelback, but the song actually reminds me strongly of another friend who was a pivotal figure in my life for a long time, Schmitty. During a time in my life when things seemed so terribly dark and hopeless she was there for me. Though she was not known for emotional gestures, in fact, she struggled powerfully with a kind of, “out of sight, out of mind” thing, I received an e-mail one day… Attached to it was a video of her playing her guitar and singing this song for me. She had heard it, thought of me, and unbeknownst to me had learned the song so she could play it for me and sing it for me. So it has a very powerful message for me, and I am very grateful to her.

This song always makes me think of one of my best friends, and past roommate, Biggin. He’s a big ol’ guy (hence the name Biggin) with a big heart to match. A redneck through and through, and he loves his country music. He introduced me to this song, and it’s now in my top 5. Thank you Biggin!

Day 3 – Parent Songs

A Song That Reminds You Of One/Both Of Your Parents

Music Box Dancer 1

Mom…

“Music Box Dancer” by Frank Mills

I remember being four or five years old and always seeing the sheet music to this song sitting on our old Kincaid piano.  We had two versions – one was Easy Piano, the other was a bit more difficult.  Mom didn’t know how to play the piano but she loved this song, so she used to work on learning it.  She would get pretty good, then not play it for a few years, then try to learn again.  It’s been a long time since she asked to play the piano in my room, but I have heard her listening to the song on YouTube in her room every once in awhile.  This song makes me feel happy and sad at the same time, but I really love it.  It’s very sweet and pretty…simple, yet when I play it I want to hear it over and over.

Music Box Dancer 2

“O Holy Night” by Twila Paris with Matthew Ward

It’s been a tradition that this is the first Christmas song we play every year, while decorating the house.  It always makes Mom get teary-eyed and it has become one of my favorite Christmas songs, as well.  Several years ago, Mom and I drove several hours to see Twila Paris in concert and got to meet with her and talk for quite awhile.  She was lovely.  Matthew Ward was part of the singing group 2nd Chapter Of Acts, whom my parents lived in close proximity with at a Christian community in the early 80’s.  His CD My Redeemer has some of my favorite worship songs.

t.s.d…

“The Reason” by Hoobastank

I’ve loved this song since long before it had any familial associations, but some time after my parents divorced, this song came on my iPod during a car trip with my mom and my brother, and my brother said quietly after it was done, “That would be a good song for Dad to give to Mom, if he ever changed.”  I can’t help thinking about that now, every time I hear it, and remember how he never did change.

I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear


I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

11-7-09 (10)

“From The Rising Of The Sun” by The Maranatha! Singers

I honestly never heard a recorded version of this song, so I’m just linking the only one I found that has the same melody and lyrics I grew up with.  t.s.d. used to play guitar and sing this song, often at night while my brother and I were falling asleep.  When we got older we used to sing it to each other from our rooms as we were going to bed.

Here’s MY Daddy’s songs…  And for anyone who’s just coming to my blog, my Daddy is a totally different person from t.s.d.  My Daddy is my lover, my comforter, and the one who accepts and loves me for who I am.  Love1

A Song that Reminds Me of One/Both My Parents

Ironically, this song now invariably reminds me of my Mom. In my family we like to play music games. The most common one is we list a portion of the lyrics and everyone else is supposed to try and figure out the song and artist. My Mom isn’t known in our family for being able to recognize songs, so it surprised me when this song came on while I was giving her a ride somewhere and she turned and asked, “is that C.W. McCall and Convoy?” I was shocked, and the connection between mom and this song was made.

Okay, so I’ll be honest and say picking a song for Dad was MUCH harder. I have SO many songs in my head that are associated with my Dad because he is the one who actually introduced me to music. From John Anderson to the Beatles, Three Dog Night to Joe Diffie, Acappella to Marty Robbins, Henry Mancini to Randy Travis. I grew up on a lot of classic rock and country, with smatterings of classical and easy listening. But one song that is forever tied to him is “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot. It has to be one of his most FAVORITE songs, because I remember him playing it frequently when I was a kid. It’s a haunting song, and I do like it. So there, that’s my song for my Dad.  The other is just a running joke between him and me, so every time I hear it, I think of him. I’m not actually sure how the joke got started, but it has, and we laugh about it.

Day 2 – Most Recent Ex Song

A Song That Reminds You Of Your Most Recent Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend

“And Your Bird Can Sing” by The Beatles

E isn’t an official ex, but I’m gonna say it was the most recent close relationship I’ve had, so that’s who I’m going with.  E loved The Beatles, as do I, though I will admit I prefer The Beach Boys.  This song doesn’t exactly have special significance for the relationship, it’s just a song E introduced me to, and I really love it, so it’s naturally associated.  :)

Daddy’s song!

A Song that Reminds Me of My Most Recent Ex

“Heaven” by DJ Sammy

Initially I was going to use the song “Heaven” by DJ Sammy, but as I listened to it again and read the words I realized… Yes, there are still some parts about that song that remind me of my ex (particularly the portion about “thinking about our younger years. There was only you and me, we were young and wild and free”), but the rest of the song, the MAJORITY of the song, just did NOT remind me of her. In fact, everything else about the song actually made me think more of my Baby. So I scrapped that song quickly. Then, as I reflected on things, the song “Boiler” by Limp Bizkit came to mind. To be clear, the song does not reflect how I feel about my ex now. Nor did she really do anything truly wrong. It was I who did something(s) wrong, and I don’t blame her for how the relationship ended. But, I was deeply in love with her so things ending HURT. Then, somewhere along the way, that hurt I felt turned to anger. I do not regret the relationship, and given a chance I wouldn’t go back and change anything. But because of the hurt and the anger, I latched onto this song and tied it to how I felt about her at one point. Now, I can’t hear it without thinking of her and that pain. In particular the chorus always makes me think of her. I’m a nice guy, and though I screw up I always try to give my best. So…

Why did I have to go meet somebody like you? 
Why did you have to go hurt somebody like me? 
How could you do somebody like that? 
Hope you know that I’m never comin’ back

Daddy/Babygirl insecurities? Take heart.

I’ve read dozens of posts from women who are worried they don’t “fit” the general concept of a Babygirl. They’re insecure about various aspects they think might “disqualify” them as Babygirls. They’re afraid they won’t find a Daddy who sees them for who they really are. Well, here’s what I’ve come to trust in…

The Daddy/Babygirl dynamic is built upon an altered sense of reality.

Daddies look past:

Age
Height
Weight
Bust size
Vocabulary
Work situation
Biological children

ALL of those things should technically “break the magic spell”.

Your Babygirl is twenty, but acts twelve, or two? She’s not twelve or two so in all actuality, that’s enough to break the spell, right? But Daddies look past that.

Your Babygirl is not three-foot-nothing as a child would be.
Your Babygirl does not weigh forty pounds as a child would.
Your Babygirl has breasts when a child her Little’s age would not.
Your Babygirl can and does talk like an adult, in ways a child her Little’s age could not.
Your Babygirl may have a job, or any number of adult responsibilities that a child would not.
Your Babygirl may have children of her own, or be married to you – things no child experiences.

Do any or all of these things ruin it for the Daddies? Experience and observation tell us all, NO. This dynamic is built upon suspended reality. Daddies see us as they want to see us, despite the many concrete “grown woman” qualities we have that are staring them in the face.

While the outer shell may help Daddies and Babygirls enter into the headspace more seamlessly, it’s certainly not required that every Babygirl be a ninety pound eighteen-year-old with no boobs, who talks in toddler language. Daddies have the ability to look past things that should clearly define their girl as an adult woman, and see the sweet little girl inside who needs nurturing.