I thought pickles were pickles, I didn’t find out they were cucumbers until I was twenty-three.
I thought vegetarians only ate vegetables until I was probably sixteen.
I thought Michael Jackson was white until I was a teenager.
I thought it was illegal to drink ANYTHING, and drive.
I thought the Arby’s sign was a giant weirdly-drawn cowboy hat, and it took me years to figure out why they said “I’m thinkin’ Arby’s” when they had that hat floating above their heads.
Until I was probably thirteen, I always wondered what honeydew melons had to do with the list Mom would make for dad on weekends… “The Honey-Do List”.
I couldn’t figure out why artichoke hearts weren’t red and bloody, while they seemed like a vegetable.
Once in a grammar book I came across the word “sandwich”, and told my mom they spelled “witch” wrong, and what was a sand witch anyway?? I thought it was samwich.
I couldn’t understand why it was okay to eat grapes when I was little, but not drink wine.
I thought sheep, dogs, etc. were born with docked tails.
I thought my mom was joking when she said she made me a baloney sandwich…for years I heard it in the phrase, “What a bunch of baloney!” and thought it was only a word.
My friends were baffled when I said I’d never heard of Ramen Noodles. We called it Itchy Bon.
I thought coleslaw was Cold Slaw.
It dawned on me at twenty-three that pancakes are called that because they’re cakes made in a pan.
When I was little we went to TCBY and I pointed out “Ice Cream Sundae” on the menu and told my mom they spelled Sunday wrong.
I was in my late teens when I asked for those “special” giant marshmallows…only then did I discover that all my life I’d been eating miniature marshmallows without knowing it.
I was baffled that a family friend wanted to eat at an Indian restaurant…he wasn’t an Indian!
I was confused when I ate corned beef for the first time and there was no corn.
I thought lobsters at seafood restaurants were like fish at the dentist’s office… Thankfully I figured it out on my own and never had my little heart crushed when I was young.