Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
- Daddy: I’m so happy we’re together, you continue to amaze me all the time with your patience and acceptance and determination. I love you so much!
- J: I love you and I’m here for you. You should straighten up, but I understand why you don’t. I wish I could help.
- T: I’m not sure why I intimidate you but I think you are really great, and I appreciate all the ways you’ve been there for me when my own family wasn’t. Kindred spirits!
- R: I wish you could stay little and sweet and innocent forever. I wish I could protect you. I love you!
- Mom: You were not there for me, I was always the one there for you. I feel like an orphan.
- A: You are better than this. Can’t you see you’re not getting what you want, anyway? If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will either.
- Aunt J: No matter what is going on between you two, we’re still family, and I love you.
- L: I still think about you and miss you. It’s faded, but there is still a lot of love and a lot of pain there. I hope you get your little van someday.
- Eric: I lost my trust in you, and I never should have made that promise. I’m sorry I hurt you and I hope you heal eventually, from everyone.
- Shorty: You hurt me and I would forgive you, but you never asked and I could never tell you how I felt, anyway. You need counseling, and I wish I could have been there for you.
And my Daddy’s list… :)
10 Things I Want to Say to Ten People:
- To Baby: I love you more than you know. This is scary, but I DO think we can make it.
- To Mom: I love you, but you are driving me nuts. I’ve got so much inside me that I want to talk about, but I feel like I CAN’T because you fall apart at the slightest conflict.
- To Dad: I never stopped hating you. I pretend most of the time, but the truth is I just fluctuate back and forth between apathy and anger in regards to you. I hate what you’ve done to this family, your narrow minded attitudes, and your “my way or the highway” attitudes.
- To D: I know we fight sometimes, but I love you like crazy. You’ve got buttons I push, and that’s frustrating. I try not to push them, and I’m sorry. You’re still my big sister though, and anyone who messes with you better hope there’s a god up there watching over him, cuz I’m coming and they’re gonna get to meet him.
- To S: We’ve drifted apart, but I still care about you deeply. I still have lingering issues over your rejection of me, but I’m handling them. I’ve accepted that we’re not going to be intimately involved in each other’s lives constantly forever. I still want to keep you as a friend though, and I am still scared you’re going to leave…
- To G: We don’t talk often, and we’ve drifted apart too. But you’re still my best friend, and I still love you bro. I do miss you, and if you ever need anything do NOT hesitate to call. I’ll grovel on my knees to Wilmama if I have to, to get the money for a plane ticket to Maryland.
- To B: I’m actually kinda pissed at you. I know it’s a little thing, but I’ve been wanting hookah for literally MONTHS. More than 6. You have the part, and you’ve tried to send it a couple times… IN SIX MONTHS. I love ya dude, but get off your lazy ass and get me my part, please!
- To S: You are still probably one of THE damn coolest people I have had the pleasure to meet, EVER. I miss the whole gang, but I miss you and Biggin the most. I really want to visit Longview, but I don’t have the money…
- To W: You are awesome. I think it’s just your nature, and sometimes I wonder how much you actually CARE, and how much you just have an, “easy come, easy go, life happens” attitude. I don’t want to accuse you of apathy, but you do come across as, “whatever” sometimes. So, with that, I was really glad when you reached out to me and proved I am your friend. Thank you
- To W (and P): THANK YOU. Money isn’t everything, but when you don’t have it then it is most definitely SOMETHING. I know amongst my family, we HATE it when we have to borrow money. It’s humiliating and feels like a stab in the pride. Nevertheless, knowing you care enough to help is comforting and helpful. I love how our family supports each other in any way possible, and I’m thankful to P for putting you in such a position that you can do that. I’m also very grateful for your generosity and love, even if I don’t do a very good job of showing that sometimes… Thank you.